In the spirit of Halloween, let’s have some fun with all the crazy techno terms and jargon we computer geeks throw around here in the call center. Here’s your foreign language lesson for today. Yes, you too can speak computerese. 

Blue Screen of Death: A Halloween costume that proves once and for all that you really ARE the geek of the universe.

Blue Screen of Death (BSOD): The screen displayed by Microsoft's Windows operating system when it cannot (or is in danger of being unable to) recover from a system error. There are two Windows error screens known as the blue screen of death.

Click here for detailed info about BSOD 

What’s your OS?: A misspelling of that wonderful land that I’ve heard of once in a lullaby. The place where Dorothy does time for droppin’ a house on some witch.

Operating system (OS) is the system software responsible for the direct control and management of hardware and basic system operations. Additionally, it provides a foundation upon which to run application software such as word processing programs and web browsers.

MS Office: An office that doesn’t want you to know if she’s married or not.

MS Office:  Microsoft Office is a suite of productivity programs created by Microsoft and developed for Microsoft Windows and Apple Macintosh

Moving the cursor: Asking someone with a foul mouth to leave.

Moving the cursor: A cursor is a moving marker or pointer that indicates a position on the screen.

Backup:  The position one lands in after fainting from losing one’s data. Back UP.

Backup in computer land refers to copying data to create a second copy of an original source, in case of damage to the original source. Both actual data and stored program code are treated the same by backup software. Backing up duplicates the data.  Archiving just means you’ve moved it to a different place on your computer.

Burn a CD: Trying to smoke a compact disc as a pathetic (and no-doubt deadly) replacement for those cigarettes you quit . . . for the third time  . . . this year.

Burn a CD: The recorder encodes (or burns) data onto a recordable disc (called a blank) by selectively heating parts of an organic dye layer in the disc with a laser. This changes the reflectivity of the dye, thereby creating marks that can be read. In other words, you can put information on a disc. The process is permanent, which means once you’ve finished burning a disc, you can’t add anything to it or burn new information onto it later.

Hit Any key:  Hit any key to continue? Where the heck is the “Any Key?” I knew I shouldn’t have bought this cheap, used keyboard from my brother-in-law. I don’t HAVE an “any key!”  I can’t continue!!!!

Hit Any key means just that, whack ANY key on your keyboard. NOTE:  As the "any key" conundrum became known to programmers, some software manufacturers replaced the "hit any key" prompt with the less ambiguous, "Press the spacebar to continue” prompt. So . . . looks like you owe your brother-in-law an apology.

Boot your computer: Yep, set it up on a kicking tee, put on your best steel-toed shoes and have a ball.

Boot your computer: The process of turning a computer on and loading the operating system is known as booting the computer. The boot process involves loading a number of programs and running a series of tests to ensure that the computer system is operating properly. This happens automatically when you turn on the computer.

Reboot your computer: Well Duh, kick it again.

Rebooting: Either a hard reboot (cold boot) or soft reboot (warm boot) of a computer.

Shutdown: You ask her for a date and she says she’d rather do her taxes. Ouch!

Shutdown: To take your computer to “Start,” then click Shutdown to turn it off.

DOS:  Don’t Order The Salmon! A tip from an in-the-know waiter.

DOS:  Disk Operating System.  (See OS for details.)

Mouse Pad: Where Mickey and Minnie live.

Mouse Pad: Or mouse mat. A surface for enhancing the movement of a computer mouse.

Mini Mouse:  Mickey’s girlfriend.

Mini Mouse:  Or a “pocket mouse.” A smaller-than-normal computer mouse.  Great to use with a portable computer. It means no more hassling with a notebook's touchpad or pointing stick.

Remove the mouse ball:  Taking away your pet’s favorite toy.

Remove the mouse ball: Sometimes we may ask you to open your mouse and remove the mouse ball to clean the inside of the mouse.  Click here for details how to clean your mouse

Right-click: Belonging to the coolest group of kids in your school.

Right-click:  Using the secondary mouse button (the one on the right) to display a menu of tasks or options that change depending on where you click. This menu is useful for completing tasks quickly. Clicking the secondary mouse button is called right-clicking.  Click here for more info

Hard-drive:  Mountain road, late at night, in the rain, in a Yugo, with your mother-in-law.

Hard-drive:  A hard disk is a non-volatile data storage device that stores data on a magnetic surface layered onto hard disk platters.  (For some, you may remember a record or LP. A hard drive is like a metal record.)